9 Kasım 2010 Salı

This Brief Suspencion of Reality

A dear friend of mine who was working on her PhD at the University of Texas, Austin at the same time as I was sent a note via Facebook the other day. The note was an invitation to join her on her conference trip to our joint alma mater in the States.

10 months ago I took Defne in my arms and 8 months ago she took her son and her daughter in her arms. Naturally, we came to wallow in our overlapping postpartum disorders together, after realizing more and more that our lives as we knew them were over. We woved to take a trip together when the children were doing a bit better on their own altough we had no idea when. At the time, it seemed an ever distant possibility. And then suddenly here she was with her offer, ready or not!

Images of a hot bowl of Vietnamese noodle soup, a well stuffed burrito, succulent jumbo shrimps, chewy lobsters and huge grilled steaks sprang before my eyes. The aroma of freshly made pancakes was wafting in the air. Then I felt a tingling salty sensation on my tongue, the unmistakeable mix of local salsa and baked chips chased with a swallow from a margarita made with fresh lime juice and blue agave tequila. I began to hear familiar giggles of beloved friends who kept martini glasses in their freezers and threw yet another party just because we felt like it. I could smell the sausages on the grill, I could hear the crickets rattle away, I felt the humidity with the heat from the scorching Texas sun, I saw the lush green grass and the white picket fences stretch across like lace. I heard people holler at me Darlin', I felt dizzy dancing salsa with complete strangers on 6th Street... I felt like I was in graduate school again, younger and carefree and full of expectation.

Regardless of whether I go or not, with this brief suspencion of  reality I realized how much I have already cashed in on my life. I felt happy once more for having had all I have had so far and expectant for so much more to come.

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